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Gender Predicters

My gut says girl even though I was kinda hopin' boy... here's what the wise internet says:


Your Results: It could be a BOY!




30% chance
of a boy
70% chance
of a girl


The old wives tales indicate that you are having a girl!

Alright I've been inspired to kick it up a notch. Because of my voracious reading, I thought I'd actually review some of the books.
First off, "Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay." I loved this book! I laughed so hard I cried. I sent quotes to all my friends, I just went nuts. I love the witty sarcasm with which Stefanie Wilder-Taylor addresses life. I might not always agree with her opinions, but I get her very very funny point. This would be the first pregnancy book I'd recommend to anyone remotely interested in pregnancy or child rearing in our culture.
Book cover as seen at Barnes and Noble
The other "must read" book of pregnancy is "What to Expect When You're Expecting." Frankly, this felt a little textbookish, and just seemed to be encyclopedia-ish. Most reviews say it's too scary/real/worry inducing. I found it it to be rather boring. Nothing new scare wise to someone with a degree in child welfare, but full of the basics. If you didn't have access to the Internet, or were afraid you couldn't tell a trustworthy website from another, this would be an ok pick for a small budget. That being said, the what to expect website has pretty much the entire book verbatim and that's much quicker to search. It's kind of frustrating to have read the book, then click on the website for "more" information and just get quoted the same to paragraphs of material. In short, skip the book, do the website.
I also felt like "The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy" didn't really tell me anything new. It also spent an incredible amount of time bashing the What to Expect book, while not really offering anything new other than cute little anecdotes about good Girlfriend behavior. If you're going to pick one of the reference books to read, this is a pretty good one all things considered. Summary, get this one, use the what to expect website.
Back to the good stuff. I've never been a fan of Jenny McCarthy. When my friend said I "had" to read Belly Laughs... I did so only out of shear politeness. However, I couldn't put it down. I laughed, giggled, chuckled and chortled. It was fresh and honest and personal. Sometimes almost obscene, but always funny. Plus the super short chapters made the frequent pee breaks I was needing feel like less of an issue. Good call pregnant lady author! On my short list of must reads.
Book Cover as seen at Barnes and Noble
The book on which my husband and I most disagree. "I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids." I'd summarize it as "hey, being a mom is hard, relax, it's ok just to try your best... oh and sexism still exists." Too funny, my husband felt like this was the most amazing book since the Bible. He goes on about the great points etc. I felt like it was canned and cheesy. On the other hand, I think it is a pretty good book to make the sperm donor/partner read. He would stop and ask thoughtfully "Do you feel like I not only help with house work but with emotional decision making?" The definite plus of this book is my husband thinking that I, and all women even considering motherhood, should be revered and deserve all the help we can get. Therefore this goes at the top of my "make your partner read it" list.

I'll keep plowing on through some more books and I'll update here with my thoughts.

still here

So I'm going to the dentist today. Medicaid will cover me for 60 days. I guess that's to get me in shape for more baby making. I'm still just so down and out. I'm out of percocet. I'm onto ibuprofen. It's not the same. I'm plowing through books at record speed, my current favorite is

She's too funny. Even for me, and I shouldn't even be reading this other than to randomly break into tears at any second.


Humor is my addiction...

So, surgery done, it wasn't too bad. Beforehand I was so silly I wrote on my inner thighs:

Me: DNC's Suck!
Dr: That's how we expect them to work
Me: It could be worse right?!?
Dr: Yes, the Republicans go next week.

Get it, political miscarriage humor? I wanted to at least make someone smile. I'm so odd, but the Drs and everyone thought it was awesome. I have figured out that humor is a great coping mechanism for me. That, and percocet.

But my soul is still hollow.


Will try to post poetry to help.

anger at the universe
anger at me
anger that it's getting worse
anger I can see

knowing the biology
knowing that it's real
knowing my psychology
knowing what to feel

numbing to thinking
numbing to the pain
numbing to this stinking
numbing is insane

Missing You!

Dear Baby,

You are gone. Maybe you weren't meant to be. I don't know, but even with the percocet this hurts pretty bad, emotionally more than physically. You taught me a lot about myself and who I want to be as a mother. I will not forget this and am thankful for all I've learned. I go to surgery tomorrow so you can be on your way and not trapped in my body. It will be a good step in grieving for me as well.

I will continue this journal as I work towards becoming a Mommy in every since of the word.

You will be missed,




Dear Baby,

I started spotting. I'm going to see the doctor. I'm very very scared. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. Harmones are so not helpful right now.

Maybe Mom



Dear Baby,

What's up with the Mangos? First the sorbet and now couscous? Really? Mango CousCous. Ok, so it was really good. The heart burn's getting to me though. It's raining. It's going to rain more. Tropical Storm Faye is going to drench us over the next few days. Which is stressing me out more than it should be. I'm just worried and tired of waiting and ready to know you're really ok.

Granny Sandy sent some much needed maternity clothes today and I've got my first books from the Kennesaw Library. I polished off Jenny McCarthy's Belly Laughs in like under 2 hours. Your aunt Charisse is pretty much right about everything. It was much needed in my down moods. I just feel really unproductive some days and like I want to hide.

I watched Serenity last night and your Dad and I are kicking around the name Inara. I'm likin' it alot but we'll see what the weeks bring.

Thinking of You,



Dear Baby,

Seriously waking up to clean up doggie diarreah probably isn't helping the nausea any, but it's a freakin' Sunday and I really wanted to sleep in. Instead, I'm up feeling crappy. Not glowy, crappy, see?

oh look, here's "glowing"

yeah, glowing

Of course, your Dad is sleeping through most of it, doesn't generally hear me barfing, having a grand old time. Sometimes I wish you were sucking the life out of him instead of me. Or, more accurately, projectile vomiting the life out of him.

So, I'm stressing again, and for no reason, and that's bad for you, but I'll get over it. You went to the zoo for the first time yesterday. That was pretty neat. I tried to sign to an orangutan but he didn't sign back, just stared at me and sort of wiggled a finger. Thanks to you, no reptile house. I was in there for like 20 seconds before the smell was killing me. Seriously, the smell thing is getting to be a real pain.

Ok, that's all for now,


Tired and Hot

Dear Baby,

I'm tired and hot. It's a Friday afternoon and my head hurts and I'm not taking anything for it on your account. I'm too stressed about money to cave and turn on the air. At least later on Dad and I are going to have some fresh Pao De Queso. Which reminds me I need to work more on my Portuguese. I hope you'll have a much easier time than me with it, but I'm not letting it stress me out... ok, so yeah, I am.

I have spent ridiculous amounts of time updating the registries on Amazon and Target, just daydreaming, and worrying. I guess that's why I ordered the doppler last night. I just want to know that you're ok in there and that I'm not messing everything up. I'm trying so hard to eat healthy and take my prenatal vitamin and get my exercise and pretty much be the perfect Mom. I guess I just have really high expectations for myself. That's scary.

So, I'm off to find something cold and sweet, but not creamy... you sure like to make those cravings complicated don't you? As frustrated as I might be in my current state, I want you to know that I already love you more than I thought possible. I plan and dream with you in mind, my world revolves around you and our new family. I know that life holds so much for you and I want it to be the best it can be! In case I forget to tell you as often as I should, I love you, and I'm proud of you when you're happy and being the best you that you can be. Not perfect, just you.